Dear diary: I have lost all my edges but I can’t stop braiding

I just realized that my hairline has been travelling quite steadily (and quickly too), towards the back of my head. In fact I think it might just be smack in the middle by now, and I am totally freaking out. I have no idea how to handle it, feels like I’m going through a middle age crisis before even hitting 30. And it’s not like I haven’t been making efforts to rescue it.

I have tried everything the hair gods have recommended without any luck. All the miracle oils that fall quite short of being miraculous, the supposedly protective hairstyles with so much deep conditioning, I have started sweating out conditioner. Maybe there is a critical step I’m missing, some sort of sacrifice I’m supposed to make to the gods, or maybe this is some sort of punishment for my sins (please forgive me Lord).

Whatever it is I am now beyond frustrated and very close to shaving it all off (will that help? Please tell me that will help), but the problem is what’s left of my hair is actually quite long and lush.

Yup,this is me
Yup,this is me

The only thing I haven’t tried, is to chill on the braids because well I just can’t.

Do other hairstyles exist in the world? Pretty sure I haven’t heard of them. No for real though, what else am I supposed to be doing? I was supposed to go of braids for the whole of this year, but so far I’ve done it twice. In fact that’s the only thing I’ve done this year (so much for my new year’s resolutions.)

Tupac is with me on this
Tupac is with me on this

Anyway, the bottom line is that I need help. Everybody, anybody please save my edges. I’m half an inch (of regression) away from starting my own Go Fund Me, for some kind of hair transplant surgery.

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