The Perfect Gentleman: How Not To Make A Woman Think Of Her Dildo During Your First Conversation

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Many men struggle with approaching a woman, especially for the first time.

Even after the first time, after the ice has been broken, several confident, self-assured, good-looking men would still find it difficult to sustain the conversation.

If you fall into this category, don’t be ashamed, you’re not alone.

80% of men simply can’t get it right while trying to strike that first conversation.

While some will say the downright stupidest things just to get a woman’s attention, some others tend to be inappropriate and incoherent.

Dear clueless men, don’t fret.

You’re in good company and your situation is about to be changed with just a few tips.


  1. Be real, dimwit!

Many guys stumble into a conversation and in the process of trying to find the right words, catch-phrases and/or cool terms, the lady would have probably zoned out… to thoughts of the dependable dildo tucked-in and locked-up, somewhere discreet in her wardrobe.

If you don’t want to end up talking to yourself and getting out sparse mono-syllabic responses from her- you better not be cute.

Be cautiously honest (You know you can’t say her hair is out of place, even if it truly is. At least not the first time).

Walk up to her and tell her what exactly got you attracted to her. Be natural and original. Contrary to popular opinion, women detest phony men.


  1. Skip the cliche lines.

No, you haven’t met her before and no, she reminds you of no one.

That’s just the spirit of cliche telling you things that aren’t there and events that have never happened before.

Fellow men, there’s a lot to talk about in the world. Dig deep a little and try, for Pete’s sake, to be creative.

To avoid blurting out a cliche line, observe her for a minute before making that approach- to talk about something that will pique her interest.

If you know the maker of the perfume she’s wearing or the author of the book she’s reading- there you have it- your ice-breaker.

  1. Don’t just listen. Pay attention.

Most men are so self-absorbed and completely caught up in their rehearsed lines that they fail to pay attention to women, even after they have broken the ice.

All you need to get a woman to talk to you is the first line and once she responds, forget about the follow-up lines.

Take it from there and let the conversation unfurl organically. Listen to what she has to say and respond based on it.

Believe me, you’ll pique her interest and have her attention if you follow this rule.


  1. Don’t over-compensate and over-compliment.

As far as many men are concerned, one has to go for the over-kill to land the sexiest woman in the room.

But this hardly works, hell, this mostly backfires.

Avoid over-complimenting, attempting to show off, seem important, flaunt knowledge when conversing with a woman.

Once she perceives you as a know-all or braggadocio, believe me, you’ve lost her.

When you over-compliment a woman, two things strike her- you’re either trying too hard to impress or you’ve got no game.


  1. Tell her what you think of her.

Every woman loves to hear opinions and perceptions about themselves.

Once you’ve succinctly gotten her attention and locked her in a conversation with you, tell her what you observe about her.

It could be a basic trait or an inconsequential attribute like the way she gazes or gesticulates while talking.

Simple observations (not compliments) like this will make her warm up to you, and you know what this means.

Kolapo Olapoju

Kolapo Olapoju is the editor of He is a creative writer, poet and entrepreneur. He develops content for web, print and TV. His works have been published in Glam & Essence magazine, YNaija, Nigerian Entertainment today (NET), Tuck Magazine and many others. His poetry has been published on and in anthologies like ‘Upcoming Voices’ by Society of Young Nigerian writers and ’2014 Annual Poets Showcase’ by Poetry First Publishing. He tweets from @hardrockyng

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