What Nigerian hairdressers really mean when they make these 8 statements

It took me long enough to realise that Nigerian hairdressers speak in code. Breaking that code has helped me avoid everything from arriving too early for hair appointments, to signing up voluntarily for a disastrous hairdo. If you still haven’t figured it out, this is what Nigerian hairdressers really mean, when they say these 8 things.

  1. “Ehn Aunty I sabi the hairstyle…but you get picture?” 
    She is trying to tell you she has never heard of the hairstyle, neither does she know what it looks like. But if you insist by showing her a picture and asking her to go ahead, then you’ve agreed to her attempting whatever she thinks she sees in the photo.
  2. “You can come around 12.”
    That means you should come at 2, and even when you get there at 2, you’ll spend an hour proving to other customers who are already waiting in line that she told to you come at 12, and you are supposed to go before them.
  3. “Ehn you can still manage it.” 
    This is a trap, odds are you’ll be back in less than a week to fix up whatever she told you you could manage. She says this when she is either tired, or has many other customers waiting in line whose hairdos will fetch her more cash than yours.
  4. “Aunty please let me take picture of the hair.” 
    You are in luck, she has just outdone herself with your hair and is going to be shoving the photo of you in every customers face for the next couple of days.
  5. “Your hair cannot do that one/It won’t fit your face”
    She has no idea how to do the hairstyle you’ve chosen, but at least instead of attempting and failing, she has spared herself the embarrassment of admitting she is ignorant about it, and spared you from wasting your time and money.
  6. “This your attachment is fake oh!”
    Don’t worry, most times the odds are that it is not but she feels slighted you didn’t buy it from her shop and she has to at least try and squeeze some more money out of you.
  7. “Ah sister, please is this aunty’s hair not fine?”
    This usually comes after she has messed up your hair and you’ve complained. She then goes round the salon looking for people to testify to the “beauty” of the hairdo, even though she knows deep down she has completely ruined your hair.
  8. “Aunty e go still fine, no be now now.”
    This is after they’ve made up their mind that no matter what you say they are not redoing the hair. So they’ll tell you that the particular hairstyle only looks good after a couple of days. They might even go as far as promising to redo it after a certain number of days has passed and you are still not satisfied. Of course when you settle for that, there’ll be a new bill waiting for you once you are done redoing it.
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